


Hold On To Your Heart

by DGCatAniSiri



Series: James Vega Romance [5]
Category: Mass Effect
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-26
Updated: 2016-12-26
Packaged: 2018-09-12 08:30:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,377
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9064231
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DGCatAniSiri/pseuds/DGCatAniSiri
Summary: James is injured during the Battle of Thessia.





	

The asari might have made some preparations, but nothing could really stand against the Reapers. Not to mention, though Shepard wasn’t going to say it out loud to any asari, and especially with Liara in earshot, the asari had seemed to believe that they were untouchable and they were in no fashion ready to make this stand. Thessia’s space defenses had been neglected, even if they wouldn’t have made much difference.

Because right now, any difference would be helpful. 

When they’d arrived at Thessia, Shepard had fought with his instincts to allow Liara to come with him. It was, as she had insisted, her homeworld – her reason for going was the same reason to leave her on the Normandy. She was emotionally compromised, a liability as they went into combat. Sure, she’d be motivated to defend her planet, but she also was tied to the place in a way that meant she might freeze.

As a compromise, he’d brought James as well as Javik along with them, figuring that the extra gun wasn’t going to be something anyone would regret having. He’d considered bringing the whole team along, but Kaidan and Garrus had come up with a plan to use both shuttles to distract Reaper air forces while they made their run to the Temple of Athame, draw off chunks of the Reapers’ air support and keep many of their harvesters away. Shepard had ordered them to take no unnecessary risks, and Tali and EDI were on either shuttle to perform spot repairs. Which cut down the available guns on the ground to himself, Javik, James, and Liara. 

And now, he could have used the backup anyway.

Cerberus was here, was in the Temple. Shepard cursed the fact that the prothean VI had persisted in dragging out offering any aid until Cerberus had shown up. The VI had basically tried to huddle up until the next cycle if it could, as if the Reapers weren’t likely to leave this temple and all its secrets buried under a pile of rubble so deep, excavators and archeologists in fifty thousand years wouldn’t even be able to dig it up, and that would be if its power wouldn’t run out by then. The Reapers might be here now, but if it didn’t give up its secrets now, it never would. 

Of course, when it had finally deigned to offer even the slightest hint, Cerberus had shown up. After a brief ‘chat’ with the Illusive Man, he’d ordered his man on the scene to get the data and deal with Shepard and company. Kai Leng, the assassin who’d run on the Citadel. He’d only gotten smugger from that encounter.

The Cerberus assassin ran at Shepard, sword in hand (it was the cusp of the twenty-third century, who used a freaking sword, anyway?). Shepard brought his Mattock rifle to bear, ready to fire, though he recalled Kai Leng using some kind of built in shield when he’d tried shooting at him on the Citadel. He ended up using the rifle to deflect the sword blade coming for his head. He kicked at Kai Leng, trying to shove him back. The others were busy with the gunship. 

Kai Leng let out a chuckle at Shepard’s efforts. “You really think that’s enough to beat me?” the Cerberus assassin said, grinning unpleasantly. The assassin moved quickly, not letting Shepard get a bead on him.

Then, abruptly, Kai Leng moved towards the others. After a moment of hesitation, needing that processing time to recognize that Kai Leng had changed targets, Shepard started to follow him. That was when the gunship fired off a series of rounds right in front of him. Shepard had no choice but to duck behind a pillar for cover.

That meant, though, that he was still in perfect position to see what Kai Leng was doing. Which was, specifically, moving towards the others. Shepard tried to call out to them, but with the burst of bullets from the gunship, as well as the chaos outside, they couldn’t hear him. Kai Leng grabbed Liara, then hurled her towards Javik, knocking the both of them to the ground. James whirled to face Kai Leng, maybe fire a few bullets into his face-

-but he moved too late to stop the sword hit him in the gut.

“JAMES!” The cry ripped out of Shepard’s throat and he whirled towards Kai Leng, aiming his gun at the assassin. 

That was when a series of explosions ripped through the temple. Kai Leng just smirked. “Cerberus thanks you for your assistance,” he said, right as a pillar wobbled. Shepard barely had a chance to throw himself at the floor before it hit, rubble striking his leg. Kai Leng managed to punch in a series of commands into the beacon’s control unit. His omnitool flashed and he moved away. The gunship lowered a ladder, allowing him to climb it.

Shepard could only watch as Kai Leng escaped, and he didn’t even bother with that. All he could do was stare at James’s unmoving body. 

At some point, Liara used her biotics to lift the debris off of him, but Shepard was still looking to James, afraid that every second, James was dying, that he was already dead, had bled out while Shepard was trapped under that debris.

“Cortez! We need a pickup, now!” Shepard barked as he scrambled towards James. 

“The area around your location is crawling with harvesters, Commander, but I’ll get there as soon as I can,” came Cortez’s response.

Seeing that Shepard was already making a scramble for his wounded lover, Liara got onto her comm. “Make it fast! Lieutenant Vega is down.”

Shepard looked at the wound. The blood was pooling underneath him. “James!” Shepard shouted, trying to rouse James – if he could respond, he was alive, and Shepard had to keep him alive. But his shouts weren’t seeming to draw a reaction – James was already going into shock. Shepard started pressing against the wound, trying to keep pressure on it.

He wasn’t even paying attention when the shuttle arrived. Liara simply created a biotic stasis field around James, giving Shepard a sympathetic look. “I’ll... I’ll get him on board, Shepard,” she said. The words were dead and flat on her lips, and a glance outside the temple could explain why – the Reapers were all over Thessia. There could be no denying that the planet was lost.

Shepard knew it was selfish as he watched Liara maneuver James onto the shuttle, but he couldn’t help but hope that he didn’t lose James either.

***

Doctor Chakwas barred anyone else from the surgical bay. She refused to let anyone, even Shepard, in, that anyone not qualified to treat anything other than surface wounds would only get in the way. 

He knew she was right, but it didn’t stop him from wanting to override the seal and watch. She’d even darkened the windows so that he couldn’t look in from the ship’s mess.

A pair of footsteps approached him. “How’s he doing?” 

“Doctor Chakwas won’t let me in. I haven’t heard anything.”

“EDI not telling you?”

“ _The doctor has asked that I not broadcast medical status of any patients under her care unless she authorizes it. She cited doctor-patient confidentiality_ ,” EDI’s voice responded. It was sometimes easy to forget that she wasn’t actually confined to her body in the cockpit.

For a moment, Shepard and Kaidan stood there in silence. Then Kaidan looked to Shepard. “James is a fighter. He’ll pull through.”

Shepard didn’t respond. He wanted to believe Kaidan. He wanted to hope. But there’d been a lot of blood spilling out on the floor of the temple.

The temple. That reminded Shepard that he wasn’t alone in reeling from what happened there. Liara had watched her world burn. And he’d been so wrapped up in what had happened to James, he hadn’t even offered her token words of sympathy.

As if he’d read Shepard’s mind, Kaidan looked to him. “I tried speaking with Liara a little while ago. I don’t think anyone can really get to her right now, get through her defensive shields about it, but definitely not you. Not while you’re still going to be here.” He cocked his head briefly towards the medbay, really meaning that Shepard would be in there.

That was a bit of clarity beyond Shepard at the moment. He nodded. “You’re right. Thanks.”

“Anytime, Shepard.” He waited a moment. “Do you need anything?”

“I don’t... I don’t know.” Shepard was struggling to hold himself together. Then he realized how long he’d been here, waiting for any word about James – there was, unfortunately, still a war going on. “I... The reports. The Councilor. Hackett.” He had no idea where to start.

But Kaidan nodded. “I’ll handle it. I’m a Spectre too, I can speak with the asari Councilor, and if we’re talking about the Alliance chain of command, I’m technically your superior officer. I’ll get Javik’s impressions. You... You just be here for him.” He gave Shepard’s shoulder a friendly pat. “And if you need anything else, just have EDI tell me. I’ll handle it.”

“Thank you, Kaidan,” Shepard said. 

It was as he said this that the door to the medbay opened, Doctor Chakwas emerging. Shepard was halfway to her side by the time he was fully cognizant of her exit of the medbay. 

She seemed to have expected that reaction, though, and simply nodded as Shepard approached. “He’s alive and should recover,” she said first, knowing that was the part that Shepard most needed to hear. 

Shepard slumped in relief. “Thank you, Doctor,” he said, not having realized the weight of the fear in the pit of his stomach until it had lifted. 

The doctor nodded. “He lost a lot of blood, and I want to keep him under observation for a week, which I expect you to help me enforce with him, given Mister Vega’s propensity towards physical activity. However, the injury managed to avoid any major organs, and his suit dulled some of the impact, which is why he didn’t bleed out before you could get him back here.” A dark look overcame her features. “It seems like the injury was intended to hurt much more than kill.”

So Kai Leng was sadistic as well as a bastard. Shepard made a determination then and there that, if the opportunity presented itself, he’d gut Kai Leng himself. 

“I’d like to keep him under sedation for at least a day, just to let his body recover its strength before he starts trying to escape the medbay, but...” She gave Shepard a gentle look. “I can give you five minutes.”

Shepard could have kissed her. He settled for a smile, which she seemed to recognize as him restraining himself from a more blatant expression of his thanks. 

The lights were low in the medbay as he entered, likely to help allow James to enter a natural sleep when the sedatives finished their work and were flushed out of his system. Shepard moved to his side, pulling out a chair, and taking James’s hand in his own. 

“James... You scared the shit out of me down there,” he said softly. He wasn’t sure if he was speaking to James or just speaking to get all of this out, but he needed to speak either way. “When you went down... I feel like it makes me an uncaring asshole, but I cared more about getting you back here than losing the prothean VI or even... even Thessia falling. I know those were both horrible things, but... All I could think about was how I was facing losing you. And it terrified me. I haven’t... been scared like that since...” He had a brief flash of a bright yellow beam, and the SR-1 breaking into debris, even as oxygen began to leak out into the cold of space. He shut his eyes tight, demanding those images be banished. “...in a long time. Don’t ever do that to me again, James. I couldn’t... couldn’t take it.” He took a deep breath, the words difficult to come out, but he knew he had to say them. “I love you, James. And I don’t know what I’d do if... if I ever lost you.”

For a moment, there was silence. That was abruptly cut through by a low chuckle. “You got a funny sense of timing, loco.” At that point, Shepard felt the gentle pressure of James returning the squeeze of his hand.

Shepard broke into a relieved smile at hearing James’s voice. “I think this is entirely appropriate to say something like that. I mean... you are the one lying on a medical bed with a new scar.” His eyes flickered to James’s torso, though Doctor Chakwas had put a medical gown on James, covering it up.

“Yeah, I guess that’s fair. Think whatever the doc’s got me on is... makin’ me a little loopy, though. Cuz I don’t feel a thing there, and I think I just heard Commander Shepard tell me he loves me.” Shepard could see the twinkle of mischief in his eyes, though, and knew in that moment with certainty that James would recover and be fine. 

“You know, something like that usually is supposed to get some kind of response,” Shepard said. He felt like he could accept it if James didn’t say it yet – he could feel that it was certainly true in the way James looked at him. But hearing it wouldn’t be so bad, either.

James chuckled. “Aw, c’mon, loco. You know the dangers of accepting things like that from a man who just had a brush with death.”

“If either of us were the type who waited for the threat of death to go away to say things like that, you’d probably have left my quarters weeks ago without turning around and kissing me,” Shepard countered.

“Fair point.” James looked like he was starting to succumb to the sedatives, his eyes struggling to stay open. He made the effort, though, to pull Shepard’s hand up, gently kissing the back of it. Then he met Shepard’s gaze. “I love you, too.”

As Shepard smiled, James’s eyes slid shut and he slipped into a much needed rest.


End file.
